A Translation Of Verizon’s Morse Code Press Release

“Today’s decision by the FCC to encumber broadband Internet services with badly antiquated regulations is a radical step that presages a time of uncertainty for consumers, innovators and investors.”

This FCC ruling is lame.

“Over the past two decades a bipartisan, light-touch policy approach unleashed unprecedented investment and enabled the broadband Internet age consumers now enjoy.”

Over the past two decades, we’ve been allowed to do what we want. We like that. Just don’t you worry that the culmination of this capitalistic anarchy has resulted in the United States having some of the slowest, unreliable access to the Internet in the entire world. 

“The FCC today chose to change the way the commercial Internet has operated since its creation. Changing a platform that has been so successful should be done, if at all, only after careful policy analysis, full transparency, and by the legislature, which is constitutionally charged with determining policy. As a result, it is likely that history will judge today’s actions as misguided.”

You politicians don’t know how to do your jobs. This is how you create policy: analysis, transparency, and legislature. And even though you may have already done all that, it didn’t meet with the outcome we wanted so you must have done something wrong. We paid for a different outcome!

“The FCC’s move is especially regrettable because it is wholly unnecessary. The FCC had targeted tools available to preserve an open Internet, but instead chose to use this order as an excuse to adopt 300- plus pages of broad and open- ended regulatory arcana that will have unintended negative consequences for consumers and various parts of the Internet ecosystem for years to come.”

Everything was just fine before you butted your big, collective noses into our affairs. And we’ll huff and puff and craft whimsically clever phrases like ‘broad and open-ended regulatory arcana’ in an effort to shoehorn in the phrase ‘negative consequences for consumers’ into a sentence. Abandon all hope, ye who enter!

“What has been and will remain constant before, during and after the existence of any regulations is Verizon’s commitment to an open Internet that provides consumers with competitive broadband choices and Internet access when, where, and how they want.”

Something about Verizon customers, who rock because they tolerate us charging such ridiculous fees for access to the Internet. By the way, did we mention this FCC ruling is lame?

Hacking The Common Cold

Scientists have discovered specific slices of RNA code in Rhinoviruses. This allows them to hack the virus at the assembly level. One step closer to vaccination rather than treating the symptoms after infection.

Invisible Arithmetic

Design, like other amorphous, ethereal words, evolved through both time and layman’s understanding to represent the act or state of ‘making communications pretty.’ This is an understandable misunderstanding of design, perpetuated (on occasion) by untrained designers who indicate a graphical communication ‘feels’ some way or another. Emotion is involved. And that, by nature, is entirely subjective.

But that is not design. That emotional response is the result of design, good or bad.

Design is engineering, and to that effect, we are all designers to some degree or another:

  • baking a cake requires design
  • writing a letter (if you still do such things) requires design
  • illustration is design
  • sending a text message requires design

Design is everywhere and we are all designers, trying to Crayola our way inside the invisible lines of communication. But good design has nothing to do with its resulting feelings. It’s all math. The engineering of good design is invisible arithmetic.

“Interesting in the Artistic Sense”

At some point, you have to face the facts as a creative: there is no socially acceptable way of suggesting to a fellow artist that someone in the command chain may have had questionable taste in making a design decision. These questionable decisions are usually not made by designers (most I have encountered are far better trained), but someone in management who may or may not have a painting of dogs playing poker hanging proudly over their mantle, framed in deep-colored, vintage mahogany.

Honestly, there is no socially acceptable way of doing this since you either come off as:

  • arrogant or
  • presumptuous

when in fact all you’re trying to do is fulfill the mandate of design: engineering the ‘best’ solution to a communication challenge. The challenge with that is that one person’s ‘best’ is another person’s canine pokery.

The People’s History

So for the umpteenth time in the past two months, I’ve been told to read (or at least listen to) The People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn. A good friend and very talented tattoo artist recommended the audio book to me this morning, as well as offering some choice bits of analysis from the book.

It sounds really interesting. Right now, I’m dog paddling through William Gibson’s Pattern Recognition, which is a phenomenally cool book.

UPDATE: Purchased via iTunes at the prickly cost of $65. It’s phenomenal, but ironic in that its cost mostly precludes it from being experienced by the people. That said, I’m certain I will listen to it several times. The content concerning women’s suffrage is inspiring.

Markdown

I’m teaching myself Markdown. Fairly simple syntax that eliminates the need to code HTML on the backend. I like it, though I inadvertently learned some of it while playing with Google+.

Go figure.

Pressed

I’ve been working quite a bit with the WordPress engine, trying to deconstruct one of the more current themes and knitting it back together in a way that makes sense to me. Worked on it for about three hours and some change this evening, ironing out several of its idiosyncrasies relative to CSS.

It’s almost 2 a.m. now and I’m just beat…